Granting a Family - Chapter 25: Full Circle

“Would you like something to drink?” Elizabeth asked Nathan as they entered her house. “I just made some fresh lemonade.”

“That actually sounds nice,” Nathan answered, removing his hat and inspecting the house out of habit as he waited for her to pour the glasses of lemonade. He noticed all of the wooden toys he had made for little Jack in the corner, and he smiled thinking about his little buddy getting use out of his handiwork. Elizabeth carried the glasses over and saw him looking at the toys. 

“You know, all of the toys you made him are Jack’s favorites.” She handed him the lemonade and they took a seat across from one another. They both took a refreshing drink and set the glasses on the end table. 

Nathan felt nervous, which made it feel like he was suffocating in his serge. He unbuttoned the top and a few buttons down so he could breathe. “I hope you don’t mind, it’s just getting a little stifling.”

“You can take it all the way off,” she suggested, then realizing what she said turned bright red. “I mean, I know your jacket must be really hot in the summer and I’m fine if it would be more comfortable without it.” Elizabeth tried to push away the embarrassment of her comment, and focus on the purpose of this conversation.

Nathan snickered and happily took his jacket off and set it next to him with his hat. “I don’t have a lot of time because of plans I have this evening, but it seemed like you had something important to say.”

“Nathan, I don’t know where to begin…” The irony hit Elizabeth, that she had used that same line last year when she rejected him at the spot they were this morning next to the pond. “The past few months I’ve reflected on my life and the choices I’ve made. On the book tour, being away from Hope Valley was a wake up call to me. For the first time since Jack died, I finally felt like the real me again once I stood up to Lucas and recognized who I really was and what I wanted.”

“I’m glad you are feeling more like yourself, Elizabeth. A loss like you experienced with Jack takes time to really process and move on from,” he sympathized. “You know, the guilt from feeling responsible for Jack’s death has taken a long time for me to come to terms with. Your forgiveness had everything to do with my healing. I recognize that me confessing my love for you did not help either one of us move forward faster.” Nathan suddenly felt thirsty again, and took another drink of the lemonade.

“When you told me how you felt last year and I rode off on Sergeant without acknowledging your feelings, I rode him to Jack’s land and cried harder than I had since I found out he died.” Elizabeth moved over to sit next to Nathan before she continued. Taking his hands in hers and looking deep into his piercing blue eyes, she said, “I was scared of my deep feelings for you, and hearing you confess what my heart was feeling was just too much for me in that moment. If I had been able to be honest with myself and admitted my feelings, I would have told you I felt the same way and that situation would have ended very differently.”

Nathan couldn’t believe this was happening right now. This was everything he wanted her to say before, and he couldn’t deny that hearing it right now helped validate what he believed back then. He looked deeper into her eyes to try and figure out where she was going next, and he saw a more vulnerable and open Elizabeth staring back at him. It was discouraging to him that she was coming around now, when he had worked so hard to move on and open up to someone else. Even so, part of him was struggling to let go of his vision of Elizabeth and little Jack being a family with him and Allie. Then the pain he felt in the Mountie office that day last fall hit him straight in the heart. 

Elizabeth wasn’t sure how to interpret Nathan’s silence, and she was becoming so lost in his eyes that it was difficult for her to form words. She finally opened her mouth to vocalize what had been haunting her for some time. “Nathan, the day in the jail when you told me you believed love was worth fighting for...what you didn’t know is that I have always had that same philosophy on love. I ran away that day because it hit me hard that not only did we agree on fighting for love, but that we both had felt like we were betraying Jack by falling in love with each other.”

Pulling his hands away from hers and using them to cover his face, Nathan felt like he had just been punched in the gut again. “Are you saying what I think you are saying?” Nathan questioned with emotion.

“Nathan,” Elizabeth breathed, touching his arm lightly. “I’m in love with you. I have been for so long, but I tried to keep myself from believing that it was true. I was so scared of losing you like I lost Jack, that I let it cloud my judgment and make me become someone I didn’t even recognize.”

Standing up and pacing the floor while running his fingers through his hair, Nathan tried to absorb the weight of Elizabeth’s confession and tried to determine what response he could give that was true to how he really felt. “This is exactly what I wanted to hear last year,” Nathan began. “I was ready to settle down and become a real family with the four of us. It’s all I dreamed about for a really long time.” Tears were running down both their cheeks as he spoke. “I was in love with you, and I absolutely adore your little boy like he’s my own son. I knew you felt the same way back then. I’m a Mountie and have the ability to read people, but I couldn’t force you to be honest with me and admit what was really in your heart. I was willing to give you time to figure it out, and I did that. But that day you told me you loved me, but wasn’t in love with me and that you were looking for Jack in me...it destroyed me. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped it into a million little pieces.”

“I know,” Elizabeth cried. “What I said and did that day is the biggest regret of my entire life. I had to tell you now, because I can tell something has happened with you and Kathryn. I decided today that I have to be strong and fight for love, to fight for you.” She stood and moved to where he stood in the middle of the room. Wrapping her arms around him in a big hug, like the one they had on the street when he was nearly killed in the prison transfer, she let all of her emotions out and soaked the front of his Henley with her tears.

Comforting her, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. When her sobs turned into a light whimper, he softly spoke again. “I will always love you and Jack. I will be here for you whenever you need anything, I promise. When I asked for this posting to watch over Jack Thornton’s wife and child, that was not something I took lightly and it wasn’t a duty that had an expiration date. I do love you Elizabeth, and I’m not going to say I’m not in love with you anymore because it’s not that black and white.” 

Nathan grabbed her by the shoulders to pull her slightly away from him so he could look her in the eyes again. She looked up at him with a sense of dread, but smiled slightly to encourage him to go on. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I have moved on. I had to do that to keep myself going and to progress in all aspects of my life. My career has taken off, Allie is giving me a run for my money but has grown up so much recently, and I have started to fall for Kate, um Kathryn. I owe it to her to give our relationship a chance. I want you to fight for love, Elizabeth. You deserve someone who adores you and will give you all the love in the world. But I also know that me being a Mountie would always be a source of great anxiety for you. I offered to quit because I felt like it was the only way to keep you in my life. Truthfully, it would have been difficult for me to give up the profession I love so much. I was resentful to you after your rejection, because I would often think about how I gave up a promotion for you. Yes, it was also for Allie, but she would have been ok either way. She understands the Mountie lifestyle, and she may end up being a Mountie’s wife one day. Elizabeth, maybe you need to be with someone who doesn’t remind you every day of what you lost. I’m glad you figured out Lucas wasn’t the right one for you, but I believe there is someone else who could be what you and your son need, without the constant reminder of your first husband and his profession.”

More tears fell down Elizabeth’s cheeks and she wiped them with her hands until Nathan pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her. “Thank you for your honesty. I do want you to be happy, and I will always be grateful for you coming into our lives. I only have myself to blame for not being honest with myself and overcoming my fears sooner.” She reached her hand up to his face, touching the short stubble from the day’s growth. She looked over his attractive features, wanting to remember everything about him. Elizabeth would forever regret not kissing his lips, or running her fingers through his hair. She knew letting him go and trying to be happy for him was the only thing she could do now, but it hurt more than she could possibly imagine. “Goodbye, Nathan,” she whispered.

Taking the hint, Nathan grabbed his hat and serge jacket then headed for the door. He turned to face Elizabeth one more time before leaving her house. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized, and hurried out the door and down the street to his house feeling a mixture of sadness, relief, and heartbreak all over again.

His mind full of worry and confusion when he walked in the door, Nathan decided to do what he normally did when he needed to release frustration and get perspective. As he went out to the woodpile he noticed it was getting low, so chopping wood was killing two birds with one stone. He pulled his suspenders down and untucked his short sleeve summer Henley from his uniform pants. When the axe made contact with the first log, Nathan immediately felt better somehow. He mechanically kept grabbing more logs and chopping as he let parts of his conversation with Elizabeth play through his head.

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Kathryn had finished making dinner for Nathan by 6:30 so she could set the table, then change back into her new dress before Nathan arrived at 7:00. She knew he had finished work on time, because Thomas had come home with plenty of time to get ready and take Anne out for one of their last dates before their baby arrived. After getting changed and checking everything one final time, she checked the time and started to worry what was taking Nathan so long. At 7:10 Kathryn decided to walk over to check on him. As she approached his house, she could hear the familiar sound of wood being split out back, so she went around the side of the house to his backyard where she discovered him hard at work. 

He was a sight to behold in his element, sweat dripping down his face and neck, soaking the white Henley he wore untucked and unbuttoned. Kathryn could barely breathe as she watched his muscles tense and release in this exercise of hard labor. His hair was flying in every direction, and his face had a look of determination mixed with sorrow and possibly stress. She stood there just taking in the view and admiring what an attractive and strong man Nathan Grant was.

As he got lost in the familiar routine he often used to relieve his mental burdens, Nathan could feel someone watching him and groaned when he realized he had forgotten something very important...his date! Turning slightly he met Kate’s gaze, and gasped when he saw her. Wearing an off-white, stylish dress he had never seen before with her hair flowing down her back, yet out of her face, and the delicate emerald jewelry, she had never looked so stunning. 

When Kathryn saw him turn around, she knew her mouth was wide open staring right at him. He began walking toward her and she felt stuck to the ground. She couldn’t speak when he stood right in front of her.

“Kate, I’m so sorry.” Nathan reached out to touch her face and her heart raced faster than it had been while watching him before. “Time just got away from me, and there is so much I need to tell you.” He stopped and took a step back to take her in up close. “You look incredible!”

“Thank you,” she murmured breathlessly. Their eyes met and it was as if a big magnet was pulling them together. She reached both hands up to smooth his disheveled hair and rested her hands on the back of his neck. She noticed a different look in his eyes than the last time they had been this close, as if all confusion and hesitation had disappeared and was replaced by longing and desire.

His large hands went around her waist and pulled her closer to him, causing her hands to slip from his neck to rest on both biceps as they kept eye contact and no words were needed. He moved one hand up to tuck a loose golden lock behind her ear and kept his hand there, lightly brushing her cheek with his thumb. He could smell her intoxicating sweet fragrance that reminded him of fruit blossoms, and it was driving him crazy. “Oh, my beautiful, sweet Kate,” he moaned, his voice cracking with emotion. He saw her briefly look down at his lips, and that was the only signal he needed.

Kathryn hoped nothing would stop him from actually kissing her this time. They had been so close before, but today seemed different. When Nathan said her name that way, she broke their gaze and looked at his lips, hoping he understood she was more than ready for more. Being this close to him, her senses were heightened and she caught a whiff of his muscular scent from working hard in the outdoors. She moved her hands back up his muscular arms and behind his head into his hair. His hands both cupped her face and their heads slowly moved closer together. 

His lips finally met hers, meekly at first, but as she responded, all of his pent up emotion flooded out and the kiss deepened. Both of them felt more alive than they ever had, and they let that passion seep into their first kiss together. After several blissful moments, they finally pulled apart and just stared into one another’s eyes again, completely breathless with their hearts on fire.

“I think I should catch you chopping wood more often, Nate,” Kathryn finally managed to say with a twinkle in her eye. 

Nathan pulled back suddenly and blurted, “I’m so sorry, Kate. I hope I didn’t ruin your beautiful dress with how sweaty and gross I am right now.”

She grabbed his hands and pulled him back to her, “I’m not concerned about my dress, silly.”

“I am, because you look gorgeous and smell wonderful, so I don’t want to get you dirty or smelly like me,” he reasoned. Let me hurry and clean up so we can still have that date. I’m starving, and I’m sure you are as well.”

“Food is the last thing on my mind right now, but I would still love to have dinner and talk,” Kathryn admitted. “I’ll go make sure everything is ready, and you can come over when you are.” 

They walked together holding hands until they reached the back door of his house. “I’ll hurry, I promise.” Nathan kissed her hand before going inside, and when he was gone Kathryn let out a huge euphoric sigh. She hoped she would be able to walk home, with how weak in the knees she felt at that moment.

Nathan washed up and changed into Kate’s favorite light blue shirt and gray vest that she insisted brought out his eyes. As he combed his hair, he had flashes of Kate’s hands softly sifting through his brown curls during the intimate moments surrounding their first kiss. His desire to see her again motivated him to quickly finish getting ready. In no time he had crossed the street to pick some wildflowers, then climbed the stairs to her house and knocked on the door.

Kathryn went home and made sure the food was still properly heated and the table perfectly set. Then she freshened up a bit, still reeling from their unexpected fiery exchange. She wondered what changed in him, and hoped she would learn more about that during dinner. A knock at the door startled Kathryn out of her thoughts and sent a rush of nerves through her entire body.

When she opened the door, Kathryn had to catch her breath at how utterly handsome Nathan looked. He stood there with his crooked smile, holding a small bunch of freshly-picked wildflowers. “Oh, Nathan!” she exclaimed. “They’re beautiful! Let me put them in water and we can have them on the table for dinner.”

Nathan felt almost like he was living in a dream, and nearly had to pinch himself at his good fortune for finding such an amazing woman who actually felt the same way about him as he did about her. “Tell me about that dress,” he suggested. “It doesn’t look like one that came from Hope Valley. It completely blew me away when I saw you wearing it earlier.”

Trying not to let him see the color rising up her neck, she smiled and said, “Thank you, I thought it was so elegant and lovely when it came for me from my Aunt Edith. Honestly, I mostly wanted to wear it for you.”

“You must thank your Aunt Edith for me,” he instructed. “She can send you new dresses anytime.” Nathan stood next to her and reached out to touch the lace at the bottom of her sleeve. He noticed the plates of food she had dished up and added, “Dinner smells great.”

“It’s more than ready,” Kathryn announced, setting the vase of flowers down in the middle of the table, along with the plates of food. “I just made a roast with carrots and potatoes, nothing fancy. But I did get your favorite apple pie at the café for dessert, since I didn’t have time to bake something myself. And I do have homemade bread the kids at school learned to bake for our science experiment today, with fresh raspberry jam to go with it as well.”

“It all sounds perfect.” They sat down at the table, said grace holding hands, then began eating together. “Kate, I have so much I want to say to you. I know we don’t have a lot of time tonight, but I first want to explain why I was chopping wood and not at your house at 7:00 sharp.”

“Nate,” she quietly giggled at the use of the nickname she had started using for him, and at the thought of him chopping wood. “You don’t owe me an explanation, but I am here for whatever it is that you need to say.” She placed her hand in his and squeezed it to encourage him to keep going.

“Elizabeth caught me on my way home and wanted to talk,” he rubbed Kate’s knuckles with his thumb and took a deep breath. “She told me she was in love with me.”

“Oh!” Kathryn replied. “I’m not sure I was expecting that. So I’m going to assume you didn’t say it back, based on what occurred in your backyard.”

“That’s just it. As soon as she confessed her feelings to me, everything became so clear. I told her I was falling for you and wanted to give our relationship a chance,” he explained. “So that’s what I’m asking you tonight. Will you officially begin a proper courting relationship with me? One that we can pursue out in the open?” His bright blue eyes were full of pleading adoration as he looked for an answer in her sparkling emerald eyes.

I will probably have to come to terms with Elizabeth being in love with him, she thought to herself. But out loud she answered, "Yes, of course I'll enter a courtship with you!" They both stood up and gathered each other into a tight hug. As they pulled back and looked into each other’s eyes again, their heads moved closer together. Suddenly, the front door opened as Thomas and Anne returned home from their date.

“Oh, I’m so sorry you two,” Thomas apologized. “We are actually going to head upstairs, so you won’t have to worry about us for long. It looks like things are going well.” He winked at them knowingly, and Anne lightly hit his shoulder with a look of warning.

“We thought you would have been done with dinner by now,” Anne added apologetically. “I am very tired and just want to go to bed, so I’ll help you by getting Thomas out of your way.”

“I’m so glad you two had a chance to go out tonight,” Nathan chimed in, chuckling.

“Goodnight, Anne and Thomas,” said Kathryn. “We’ll be finished soon.” After Thomas and Anne went upstairs to bed, Kate and Nate finished their dinner and enjoyed their pie together, talking about Nathan’s work and Kathryn’s summer school class. They worked together to wash and dry the dishes, but not wanting to disturb the other Bradshaws further, they decided it was best to end their date and get together again the next day. Kathryn walked Nathan to the door holding his hand. Both were disappointed to say goodbye. 

“Thanks for dinner,” he said appreciatively. 

“You’re welcome.” Kathryn’s heart began racing again as he took her into his arms and leaned down, pressing a sweet and tender kiss to her lips.

“Goodnight, Kate,” he said softly, opening the door and turning around for one final look at her before heading out into the night to go home.

Kathryn slowly climbed the stairs to her bedroom, feeling like she was floating on a cloud. She collapsed onto her bed, touching her lips and remembering all of the incredible moments she had experienced with Inspector Nathan Grant today...the man she was now officially courting!

As Nathan prepared for bed, he felt emotionally exhausted, but for the first time in a long time he was excited and confident about his future. Kate was everything he had dreamed of and more, and their chemistry and connection was undeniable. He had no desire to hurt Elizabeth, but had a feeling she was going to be ok and find love with another man worthy of her and little Jack. Tomorrow he would tell Allie of his official courtship with Kate, and he hoped she would be excited for him as they moved toward adding to The Grant Family. Life had never been better!